DESTRUCTION
by KakaSpoo
Summary: Anko/kakashi. collab fiction. Kakashi and Anko are set on a Dangerous mission to save a whole village from utter destruction.
1. Anime Con Remix 8B

**DESTRUCTION**

**Chapter 1 **

**Anime Con Remix :B**

**Spoo**

Kakashi garbled down the remnants of Inuyasha's innards with a gleeful slorping sound. Today's mission would be far greater than any other mission in the history of all history; he had to be well nourished.

Anko jiggled her keys to the melody of "you'll be in my heart." It was a complete and absolute lie.

"Finish your filthy dog meat!" She sniffed. "It is time!"

Kakashi spit out an ear he had been grinding his teeth over.

Anko swung her leg over her poisonous Snake-cycle, and revved the engine, spewing out a cloud of noxious glittery gasses, causing the air to burst into flame.

Kakashi's eyes grew purple with rage. "YOU! You must wait!" He ground the bone in between his teeth. "I must fill my four stomach tubes!" The ninja sunk his hands further into the rotting carcass.

"We really must leave!" She shot her instructor finger between his eyes and scratched. "You will have to make this order to go!"

The Silver-haired Elite Jonin Grumbled and climbed into his half-eaten Inuyasha stench suit. He grinned as his feet made terrible squishing sounds as he took each step.

Only moments later, a man with an army of men, who weren't really men, but moths, who were not really moths, but Raving Moth-men, fell from the highest branches of the bloodthirsty Weazlefizz-trees.

"IRON REAVER, SOUL STEALER!" Kakashi pawed at the raving Moth-men, who cried tears of swamp-muck, in only the way a true professional could, but then again they were not truly the professionals they appeared to be.

The intruding, Raving Moth-men screeched like bunnies being raped as Anko ripped off her shoe and beheaded them all. Her conscience, Gerpy the insidious, drooled and wiped his saliva on her cheek.

"That is good enough my dear, good enough!" he was incredibly proud.

Kakashi winked the blood from his eye and the random passing Piplup exploded; the show in the sky was extravagant. It became a mushroom cloud

Anko knew this would be a most excellent battle. She became hungry for the blood of the Pump-kin, Children of the mighty Squashfolk race.

"Kakashi! We must conquer the moons of KittytreeX!" The Ninja grabbed partner by the toes of his Dog-Man body suit and threw him on the back of her Snake-Cycle, kicking the forest floor into the eyes of all the wilderness babies, who were all really W-Asians who wanted to knock boots with Vic.

The miniskirt army began their plotting. And a divine plotting it was.

**End Chapter 1**

**Anime Con Remix :B**

author switch!


	2. Chapter 2

**DESTRUCTION**

**Chapter 2 **

**NEW CHAPTER**

**Kashi**

As the two jounin ventured toward the towering shoe tree containing the magical bees nest and guarded by Ottawa's laziest fireman that would allow them to sprout bat wings from their eyelashes in order to fly to the first moon of KittytreeX which was heavily guarded by fanfiction run-on sentences, Kakashi sighed sending bubbles of gore through the nostrils of the now dead dog-demon which had become the latest fashion craze. Fashion was enforced by the crazy one-legged elf, Carter, who would behead the first person who wore orange and purple socks after Memorial Day so the suit was crucial.

"I didn't get to even enjoy finishing the eyeballs..." he groaned, looking up at Anko who's hair was a lovely shade of chartreuse. "Stop whining meat-slave!" Anko whispered into the night. Her eyes danced merrily. "Now, we shall see, who cooks who's noodle in Connecticutt!"

The poisonous snake bike, not really a poisonous snake bike but more of a carousel of wonder, came screeching to a halt sending several 5-year-olds to their untimely deaths. "In order to enter the shoe tree palace we must defeat the Diseased Leprechauns of Sector 4!! How do you expect to do that in your meat-suit?!" Kakashi blinked with worry and the Inuyasha suit vanished, because everyone knows if you blink with worry dog-demon carcasses disapparate. Somewhere, a 40-year-old postal worker laughed at the moon. "Good." Anko nodded growling into the wind, which wasn't really wind but a gigantic fart cast from the heavens, which weren't really heavens but more likely the asscheeks of Roxuto the Flatulent Dragon. Both jounin inhaled deeply enjoying the night air.

"Nothin' like dragon stench!" Anko cried heartily toward the sky which now resembled the color of urine. Kakashi jumped from the carousel as Tonya Harding watched in amazement. It was her first time at the circus and she was getting her money's worth! "Now" Kakashi screeched like a neutered ostrich "we advance to the Miniskirt Army's hideout!"

"Yes!" Anko sang. "It is high time we taught them the ethics of childbirth and fiscal responsibility!" Kakashi cowered seductively in the bushes as Anko forced a Diseased Leprechaun to dance to an orchestrated rendition of "Black Hole Sun".

"STOP RIGHT THERE!!"

Both jounin turned around, the remnants of their Big Mac's sliming down their chins. Kakashi cocked an eyebrow as Anko cocked an AK-47.

"Who is this GHASTLY man?!" Kakashi cried

"I am no lady!" Cried the confusing hermaphrodite.

"Then what are you?!" Anko whispered as she ignored the newcomer and proceeded to conquer the frolicking fly-children in the lollypop bushes.

"I am many things!" screamed the he-she causing several birds to shit bricks, one of them hitting Kakashi on the shoulder. It was a sign that spring was on the ready. It had been a long summer.

"I'm a bitch... I'm a lover... I'm a child... I'm a mother... I'm a sinner, I'm a saint..."

"You should feel ashamed..." Kakashi said as he stole Anko's trenchcoat and clog-danced to Avril Lavigne.

"But of the many things I am, most people call me Jizzy..."

"That's a very lovely name" Anko muttered, stuffing Kakashi's severed index finger into her pocket. Nobody was allowed to steal the trenchcoat, not even the Hokage who sacrificed one genin a Tuesday so the village would not befall childhood obesity.

"You have made a claim to attack the Miniskirt Army! I've devoted my life to that faction ever since they allowed me to borrow a cup of sugar for the liquid death I was making. I call it Pepsi... but now you must pay!!"

"Here's five cents" Kakashi muttered, sending her a blood spattered nickel. His hand was healing nicely.

"Thanks" Jizzy grunted, shoving the nickel into his/her half-cleavage. It had been an eventful day, and he/she hadn't even learned the alphabet yet! "I will attack again... and next time... you will dance... " he/she called as he/she zipped through the trees on his/her not-so-magical vacuum dispenser.

Anko smiled. "What a lovely day for a picnic!"

END OF CHAPTER TWO


End file.
